Experiencing major change? This will provide you great hope!

When you’re in the midst of major changes that’s exactly the time when you can feel most off kilter. Every kind of change, even positive constructive change can feels like going through hell, even though you’re actually on the way to heaven.

It’s like the caterpillar that is in the process of transforming into a butterfly. The caterpillar body is decomposing. The butterfly’s wings are beginning to form. To prepare for eventual flight, the no-longer-caterpillar, not-yet-butterfly bats it’s stubby not yet wings against the confining cocoon walls.

Welcome to the messy magical process of transformation.

When I left the US for France on a one way ticket, back in 1992, I had NO idea what life held in store for me. I had two projects lined up: 1) Representing a California sportswear manufacturer wanting to export to France, and 2) Working for CBS Television for the Winter Olympic Games, which would be broadcast from the French Alps. If someone would have told me then that I’d end up living in Israel, I would’ve told them to check themselves into the “looney-bin”. In fact, there was an Israeli camera man I befriended during the Olympics who gave me his address and invited me in his very heavy accent: “Come veeseet us in Eesraeel”

Yeah, really! Israel was the last place on earth I ever planned to return to, let alone live in. My mind said; “no way”.

Yet fate had other plans for me. The voice of my heart asked; “Why not? As a child you dreamed of living there.”

Which voice should I listen to? I chose to listen to my heart and jumped in with all fours…exciting and terrifying as it was. Next month it will be 21 years since I moved to Israel. It has been an amazing ride. In my wildest dreams could I imagine what adventures laid in store for me. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

What voice do you listen to when you’re meeting the inevitable uncertainty and anxiety experienced during change?

Do you bat your stubby wings preparing for your eventual flight? Do you give up, and choose to wither like the old caterpillar stuck in the cocoon? Or do you cut the cocoon open to “help” the butterfly move ahead, only to sabotage and sentence it to death, because it was not yet ready to fly.

Part of feminine leadership is trusting in the dark unknown as a womb space that cradles power of tremendous force. Yet too often from our fear of feeling pain and anxiety, we cut off the very wings which are in formation, that will help us to fly. We get busy, over-doing… exerting ourselves into exhaustion…

In Miriam’s Secret: Revealing the Ancient Wisdom of Feminine Leadership...I note:

“When you’re frightened you need to be

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nurtured, not pushed into doing more”.

This video will show you three ways to calm your anxiety with your own natural voice:

If you’d like some more support, these guided meditations and healing music can help.

I’m getting ready to leave for a three week tour to Italy, then leave again for Los Angeles for an extended stay. There is much uncertainty still regarding my plans for leaving and my plans for the US. What is certain, is that I am choosing to listen to the voice of my heart. My mother will be 84 at the end of June and my step-father is preparing to transition from this world. I want to spend time with them – and be close in LA, so that I can be called on.

I also want to work in the US and prepare the launch of Miriam’s Secret. Will I be able to stay in balance? Will I hear and express my adult voice being back in that old childhood scenery – even many years later? Will I know which is present and which is old habit? How to know? By trusting that silent source power within. It provides hope.

Returning to the “Old Country” from my Promised Land will be another journey of transformation… this time I have the blessing of sharing it with you.

Next week, I’ll post from Italy after finishing the Italian Frame Drumming conference, I will head to Siena in Tuscany, a dream of mine since college when my UC Berkeley professor taught us the Sociology of Sport – comparing US Football with the ancient Paleo rites, during the annual village festival. Hopefully there will be good internet connection, and I’ll be able to post.

Next Wednesday is also the holiday of Shavuout, which celebrates the ripening of the first harvest…. a thanks to the Divine to providing good. How appropriate!

Which anxious voices and frightened parts of you could benefit from nurturing? Comment below.

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